Darling Heart, I Loved You From the Start
by lipstickdisaster
Summary: It's senior year, and Troy and Gabriella have many choices to make – where to go to college, what to wear to prom, whether to tell their best friend they're hopelessly in love with them… Or, an alternate version of HSM3 where Troy and Gabriella never got together and are pining for each other. Oneshot.


**A/N: A couple of months ago, I received an anon ask on Tumblr about what would happen if Troy and Gabriella never got together and well, this happened. It's basically a rewrite of HSM3 – or, at least, every scene parallels a scene from the movie – with a little bit of mutual pining, because who doesn't love mutual pining? :) It took me a long time to write and rewrite this, though, because I couldn't get it really right, but I think I'm satisfied with the final product, though. I hope you guys enjoy it, and please leave kudos and/or a comment if you can! Also, feel free to contact me on Tumblr on bisexualsharpay to yell about Troyella or other HSM-related things!**

 **P.S. The title is from Florence + The Machine's** _ **Hardest of Hearts**_ **.**

* * *

They're sitting in his treehouse when the realization first hits Troy.

Watching the sea of people – his friends, his classmates, his parents, the coach of the Redhawks – below them, he realizes that time is running out.

It's strange to think they've only known each other for a year, yet it feels like they've known each other forever. She knows his deepest fears, he is aware of her worst insecurities, and they understand each other like no one else can.

And, somewhere along the way of becoming best friends, he's fallen head over heels in love with her. With her selfless kindness, her intelligence, her voice, her eyes, her smile – he's in love with every little detail about her.

The only problem is that he doesn't know if she returns his feelings. Sometimes, he thinks she does. It might be a figment of his imagination, but he swears he catches her staring at him occassionally. And when they had a big fight last summer, her pain was decidedly different from his friends' disappointment in him.

And they share these moments, where all they can see is the stars in each other's eyes and they're so close that their lips could touch if they wanted to.

However, he also sees the terror in her eyes whenever they share those moments. He is aware of her fear of getting close to people, but they are as close as friends can get.

So, he doesn't know if she's afraid of emotional proximity or if she's afraid of him.

"This place is really cool," Gabriella says, snapping him out his thoughts. Blinking, he watches with a small smile as her gaze roams around the treehouse in awe.

"You're the second girl I've ever had up here," he replies, without thinking, his eyes narrowing at her as he watches her face fall as she looks back at him.

That sadness that's suddenly present in her eyes, that's exactly the reason why there's a spark of hope inside his heart.

If she really wasn't interested him, she wouldn't be sad at what he just accidentally implied, right?

Before he can give himself the chance to dwell on it, he quickly replies, "The first was my mom."

He chuckles as she slaps his shoulder in response, her face breaking out into a grin as she shakes her head and rolls her eyes playfully.

However, there's still some contemplation in her eyes hidden beneath her playful exterior.

"I'm honoured," she says, earnestly, and he can't help but smile bashfully as she slowly lowers her head onto his shoulder.

A spark shoots to his heart.

"I thought you meant an ex-girlfriend," she mumbles, a little embarrassed, and Troy raises an eyebrow as he turns his head to look her in the eye.

"Were you jealous?"

His tone is teasing, but his heart is beating loudly in his chest. This could be an opening. If she is jealous, this could be a perfect moment to start that conversation, to talk about their feelings.

This could be it.

However, Gabriella doesn't grant him an answer, instead averting her gaze from his as she looks down at the red crowd below them.

"It would have been a possibility, right?" she says instead, gesturing down. "I mean, there's so many girls fawning over you. How many times have you been asked to prom again?"

Troy feels a blush rise to his cheeks as he awkwardly rubs his neck. He will never get used to being the so-called hottie superbomb.

"Eight," he murmurs awkwardly, and Gabriella lets out a giggle in response.

He has said no to all of them. There's only one person he wants to take to prom.

"Has anyone asked you yet?"

Gabriella's smile disappears, making way for a contemplative frown as she bites her lip and lifts her head off his shoulder, fidgeting with her hands as Troy inwardly laments the disappearance of her body heat.

"No," she says, and Troy supresses the urge to sigh in relief at her answer.

He's sure she doesn't realize it, but he definitely isn't the only person who has been interested in her before. He sees the way some of the guys look at her. She's no Sharpay Evans, for sure, but with her sweet personality and pretty face, it's no surprise that he's not the only person who holds a certain fondness for her.

However, he's the only person who is also her best friend and he's the only person, he's sure, whose heart she could truly break.

The fact that nobody has asked her yet, doesn't mean anything. Someone could still swoop in and ask her before he can. She could still say no if he is the first person to ask. She could still think they're just friends if they do go together.

Everything could still go horribly wrong.

"Well, I'm sure someone will ask you soon," he says, rubbing his neck as he chuckles awkwardly. "Prom is coming fast."

Gabriella looks back at him, her eyes shining with contemplation, before she smiles wistfully. "Everything is coming at us fast. Prom, graduation, college…"

Troy gulps, before nodding. It really is coming fast. They're going to be separated soon and there's nothing they can do to stop it.

"Stanford is 1,053 miles from here," Gabriella continues with a sigh, and the lump that's begun to form in Troy's throat grows.

He has calculated the distance as well, and he's come to the same conclusion that's hidden in the sad tone of her voice, but he still feels a pang to his heart to hear her say that number out loud.

"I'm proud of you for getting into Stanford, though," he says, cracking a small smile and he feels a rush of warmth as she returns his smile and blushes bashfully under his gaze.

"Thanks," she mumbles, before pointing down to the coach of the Redhawks. "I'm proud of you, too. I can't believe the coach of U of A is here."

"It's kind of insane that I'm going to be at my dad's alma mater," he agrees with a small laugh, shaking his head as he stares down at his father and the Redhawks coach, who seem to be in a heated discussion.

A few years ago, he would have been ecstatic about all of this. Now he's not sure anymore. And in a way, it's all because of her.

Looking back at her and meeting her gaze, he softly says, "I'm going to miss you."

Gabriella's cheeks flush in response, but she keeps her eyes locked with his as she whispers back, "I'm going to miss you, too."

He can't help it. His gaze flickers to her lips. She's sitting so close to him and she's staring at him, the stars above them reflected in her eyes.

Her lips look so soft, so sweet, and all he wants to do is to close the minimal distance between them and press his lips to hers.

Unable to stop himself, he starts leaning in, slowly, little by little, his eyes fluttering shut as he anticipates the impact.

However, before their lips meet and he makes a complete fool out of himself, he's saved by the bell. Or rather by his mother, who is shouting at him from down below.

"Troy, come down, you have guests!"

Gabriella lets out a barely audible gasp, her eyes widening as she pushes him away, and Troy feels the heat rise to his cheeks as he reaches up to rub his neck, unsure of what to say or to do.

"I'll be down in a sec!" he yells down to his mother, and he inwardly thanks whatever deity is out there that he's not too flustered for her to become suspicious.

However, he probably underestimates his mother, for she calls out, "Hi, Gabriella!"

The suggestive tone makes his cheeks flush brighter, if that were even possible, but Gabriella seems to be recovering from the shock of their almost kiss, a twinkle of amusement hidden beneath the embarrassment in her eyes.

"Hi, Lucille," she calls, before smiling at Troy awkwardly, and standing up and leaving the spot next to him cold.

As they're climbing down the tree again, he feels a strange mixture of relief and disappointment at the interruption.

It's not the right time to ask her to prom or tell her about his feelings yet, he tells himself, but he knows that the perfect moment will have to come soon or he might be too late.

He can't fathom the thought of that.

* * *

Gabriella is excited for prom.

If you would have told her a little over a year ago that she would be genuinely looking forward to such an event, she would have laughed in your face.

She's been used to things not going her way, to living in solitude, to having to constantly up and leave whenever she thought she might have found a home.

Yet all of that has changed. She's settled down in one place now, she has made friends, she has tried out new things, she has grown so much as a person.

She wants to cherish the time she has left at East High before she goes off to college as much as she possibly can and therefore, she can't wait to have the time of her life at prom.

There's two problems, though. One of them being that she doesn't have a date yet. The other one being something that she refuses to consider, something that makes a pit grow in her stomach every time she thinks about it.

At least she can focus on her lack of a date, and on prom in general, to suppress the conflicting feelings she's been experiencing since she first got word that she might have to leave East High sooner than intended.

She hopes someone will ask her to prom soon, though. And she hopes that someone will be one particular person.

Troy Bolton has been her rock since she first met him at that New Year's Eve party that now seems forever ago. In the time she's been at East High, he has become her partner in crime, her confidante, her best friend. And she's fallen madly in love with him.

She can't blame herself – she didn't stand a chance against those sparkling blue eyes and that charming personality.

He's going to be the person she misses most when she leaves Albuquerque. And he's the person she wants to spend prom with.

So, when he – quite literally – calls her up the rooftop garden before class just a few days after inquiring if she's been asked yet, she can't help but feel a flicker of hope light up inside her.

She tries to play it cool, though, just smiling at him sweetly when she approaches him, pretending that her heart isn't trying to jump out of her ribcage.

"Is this jacket okay?" he asks, holding up a black tuxedo jacket that he's inspecting carefully with squinted eyes.

"Try it on," she merely replies, taking the jacket from his hands and motioning for him to turn around so she can put it on his shoulders.

"So, who are you trying to look all pretty for?"

She feels her knees tremble a little beneath her as he turns back to her and she waits for his reply. She knows he didn't have a date yet when they discussed it in his treehouse, but she reckons that a lot can happen in three days.

As much as she wants and hopes – and maybe even quietly expects – this to be his promposal to her, she can't be sure.

When she sees the faint blush covering his cheeks and his hand fly up to his neck to rub in what is a nervous habit of his, she thinks her knees might give out underneath her.

When he fishes two tickets to prom out of his jean pocket and holds them up for her to inspect, she wonders why she's still standing.

"I was kind of hoping you would want to go with me," he says softly, shyly, and even though she feels like she might start hyperventilating at any second, a broad grin lights up her face.

His responding beam makes it widen even further.

"I have to be honest, though, I have no idea how to do the waltz," he says, with an awkward chuckle, and Gabriella giggles in response, before averting her gaze from him and sighing wistfully.

"My dad taught me how to waltz when I was little," she admits, relishing for a moment in the familiar mixture of fondness for her late father and sorrow over his death. "He'd waltz me around the living room on his toes."

She can't believe she's getting the chance to waltz again. At her senior prom. With the boy of her dreams.

She can't wait until prom. She wants to dance with him _now_.

With a gasp, an idea suddenly comes to her. "Do you want me to teach you?"

Troy's eyes widen in response, but she doesn't wait for an answer, instead grabbing onto his hand firmly and pulling him down the steps.

"Gabriella, we're on the roof!"

Gabriella merely shrugs in response, before letting go of him and turning around to face him. Softly, encouragingly, she tells him, "You're going to love it."

With a sigh of defeat, he lets her position his arm over her waist – she blushes when he squeezes softly –, before she takes his hand in hers.

She takes a step backward and smiles at him encouragingly as he takes a step forward, watching their feet in utter concentration. Before either of them know it, they're gently swaying to a non-existent beat, their feet moving in perfect harmony.

"This is nice," he mumbles huskily after a good few minutes have passed and she smiles in agreement.

"You're a pro," she whispers back, before suddenly getting lost in his eyes. They're so bright, so warm with colour, and she feels like she could gladly drown in his oceans forever.

Another few minutes pass, but they have no sense of time, for they are lost in their own world, in the small space they occupy while they dance together seamlessly.

"You know, you never gave me an answer," he breaks the silence eventually and Gabriella raises her eyebrows teasingly in response.

"Well, you never asked me."

She wants to hear the words from him, she wants to know that this isn't a dream that she's going to wake up from soon.

Rolling his eyes playfully, he leans a little closer to her, as if what he's about to ask her is a secret. "Will you go to prom with me?"

Even though she's been expecting the question, she still feels her body freeze for the tiniest fraction of a second, before she smiles at him and leans closer as well. "In every language. Oui, si, ja. Yes."

She really feels like she could kiss him right now. And maybe she actually can. They're so close and she can feel his breath on her face.

However, before she can act on her desires, the bell rings and with a gasp, she pushes him away. "We're going to be late!"

As they run down the stairs and the corridor on their way to class, she can't help but look back at him and take in the sparkle of happiness in his eyes and the rosy blush on his cheeks.

It's really happening. She's going to go to prom with Troy Bolton.

She just hopes it won't be ruined. She hopes she won't have to leave.

* * *

She said yes. She's going to prom with him.

Troy should be happy, he should be shouting from the rooftops. Instead, he's just overcome with worries.

There's a lot of things to be concerned about. Not all of them relate to her – there's a brochure hidden in his room and scholarship offers he isn't sure how to deal with – but some of them do.

Their relationship is about to change, that much is certain. Even if he chickens out and won't confess his undying love, they're about to be over a thousand miles apart. He's hopeful that distance will make the heart grow fonder, but he can't be sure.

There's also nerves in his body due to the looks she's been giving him lately, as if something is on her mind and she has no idea how to bring it up to him.

That breaks his heart a little. Even though he knows he's been keeping a huge secret from her, too, he wants her to trust him, to feel like he'll be there for her through anything.

"So, what you're saying is that it's my fault you're in the musical?" Gabriella asks as they sink down on the hammock in her backyard one afternoon.

Troy just sighs in response, and Gabriella shakes her head in disappointment. "Troy, why can't you just admit that you love performing?"

He does love it. He would have never thought it would be something he'd enjoy, but he's come to love the thrill of being on stage, the freedom of singing his heart out.

That new love is one of the things Gabriella has guided him to.

"It's not hard to admit anything to you," he says, and he feels a lump form in his throat when he thinks about how he wishes she would feel the same way. "It's hard to admit to everyone else."

"It shouldn't be," she says encouragingly as she slips her arm around his bicep and squeezes comfortingly.

Troy looks down at her and smiles gratefully in response. He really does appreciate her words of encouragement. It doesn't exactly ease the turmoil in his mind, but it does make him feel a little bit better.

Deciding he doesn't want to dwell on his anxieties too much, he sighs wistfully as he averts his gaze and stares at the cloudless sky instead.

"I'm excited for prom," he tells her, "At least we have that to look forward to. I really need a break from all this college stress. I still have so many choices to make."

Such as if he's really going to stay in Albuquerque. But he's not ready to confront that voice that's been nagging him about that lately.

Gabriella laughs and nods in agreement, but he sees her bite her lip apprehensively from the corner of his eye and he instantly knows something is wrong.

When he raises an eyebrow at her, she seems to realize that he's aware of her discomfort, and she quickly covers it up with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm excited, too," she says quietly, but he can't find any trace of enthusiasm in her voice or her demeanour.

She pauses for a moment, appearing to contemplate something, before looking up to meet his gaze. "I know how you feel. I still have decisions to make, too."

This surprises Troy.

As far as he knows, Gabriella has always wanted to go to Stanford. It has been her dream since she was little, a path that she's always wanted to follow.

Why does it sound like she's unsure now? Why does she sound… like him?

"About what?" he murmurs, and Gabriella must have noticed that his heart is thumping a mile a minute, because her frown deepens even further.

The way her eyebrows furrow is both adorable and anxiety inducing.

Before she can give him an answer, though, the door to the house suddenly opens and Maria Montez appears in the backyard, eyes widening in embarrassment as she sees the two teenagers in the hammock.

"Oh, sorry, I thought I heard you, so I wanted to say hi, but I see I'm interrupting," she says hastily, but Gabriella just shakes her head and Troy swears he sees a hint of relief in her eyes.

"We were just doing homework," Troy replies, and Maria just raises her eyebrows for a second, before winking mischievously at her daughter and disappearing inside again.

He's curious about what that wink should mean, but he's still more curious about what Gabriella was about to tell him.

It seems like she's lost her nerve, though, for she stands up with a sigh and reaches out her hand to him. "Speaking about homework…"

He looks at her outstretched hand for a moment for a moment, contemplating whether he should push for an answer or let it slide.

He decides to do the latter, grinning at her. "I was joking."

The curiosity never fades, though, but when they're actually doing homework later, he doesn't know how to bring it up anymore.

So, he'll decide to wait for her to come to him.

He's sure she will.

* * *

"You have to tell him."

Gabriella sighs as she fiddles with the pencil in her hand, inspecting the pile of polaroid photographs for the yearbook that Taylor throws on her bed before sitting down.

It's been a while now since she got the letter from Stanford, and she still doesn't know how to deal with it.

She's never been particularly good at dealing with emotions – whenever things get hard, she always has an urge to run for the hills. However, the problem this time is that she doesn't want to leave.

No matter how good the opportunity is, she wants to stay. And no one seems to understand. Especially not Taylor.

"I don't get it. You should be shouting from the rooftops right now."

Taylor means well, Gabriella knows this. Furthermore, Taylor is _right_. This is an amazing opportunity for her and it's a huge honour to be selected for such a prestigious programme.

If she had received this news a year and a half ago, she would have been truly ecstatic to learn all her hard work has paid off.

Except now she doesn't only have her hard work anymore. She has friends, she has new interests, she has other plans.

"I just don't want to miss everything," she admits, pouting a little as Taylor sighs and shakes her head in frustration.

"It's just the musical," she assures her friend, while picking up a polaroid picture and inspecting it thoroughly. "You can still come back for prom and graduation."

That's the thing. Gabriella doesn't think she will.

She hasn't admitted this out loud to anyone yet, but she knows that when she leaves East High, she will never return. She has walked away before, so many times, even from her current life.

And when she walked away last summer, her heart ached so immensely. She dreads having to do it again, but she doesn't think she can do it more than once.

So, her dream of going to Stanford has thrown a wrench into her plan to chase another.

She won't have her perfect prom. It's over.

"This is your future, Gabriella," Taylor insists, "You have to grab it while you can."

Gabriella bites her lip as she shakes her head, not responding. Taylor is right. She can't put her future on hold for prom. Prom will be insignificant in the long run, this programme won't be.

She just wishes she could have both without breaking inside. She wishes she could have it all just once.

She feels the tears prick in her eyes, and it's obvious that Taylor notices them, too, for her tone is suddenly a lot gentler when she repeats, "You have to tell him."

This only makes Gabriella feel worse. She knows she should tell him, but when she does, it becomes real. When she tells him, when she chooses the honours programme, it feels like giving up on him, on any chance of there ever being a them.

She doesn't want to do that. She just wants to stay here forever.

Sometimes she thinks that she could. She could attend University of Albuquerque with Troy and Chad and she wouldn't have to say goodbye.

It's a silly thought, but a comforting one nevertheless.

She looks down at the notebook and feels the tears start to spill, before hearing Taylor's footsteps and a shift on the bed as Taylor sits down next to her.

Taylor lays a hand on her shoulder and rubs comfortingly as she says, "I wasn't only talking about the honours programme."

Gabriella sighs. She doesn't want to discuss this with Taylor. As much as Taylor means well, she has never really understood. She has always told Gabriella to not let her world revolve around boys, especially not a lunkhead basketball man like Troy Bolton, and as right as Taylor is about that, Gabriella doesn't feel like she can talk to Taylor about how deep her feelings really run.

There's nobody she can really talk to about the intensity of her affection for Troy. It's not just a crush like Taylor thinks. It's so much more than that.

What Taylor does know, however, is that being with Troy makes Gabriella happy, so she's been encouraging her to confess her feelings to him for a while now.

Gabriella is just scared of taking that risk, especially now.

She's keeping two huge secrets from him and she doesn't know which one to confess, which path to take.

The worst part is that the only person who would understand her confusion with regard to being at such a crossroads is Troy himself.

She needs to talk to him. She needs his support.

So, as Taylor wraps her arms around her shoulders and hugs her tightly, she makes a decision.

She'll tell him about the honours programme.

Maybe, together, they can figure it out.

* * *

The not knowing is killing Troy.

He's so anxious that he thinks he might combust at any moment. The uncertainty about his future has been weighing down on him for a while, but now Gabriella is as well.

He knows he's putting too much pressure on prom and on his relationship with her. While he thought it would be a welcome distraction from the other troubles in his life, prom has become just another grievance.

It's going to be a goodbye, but hopefully, it could also be a beginning. And it needs to be perfect.

The hesitance that Gabriella displayed the other day in the backyard is not a good sign that it's actually going to be as great as he wants it to be.

She still hasn't told him what was on her mind, but he can see in her eyes that she desperately wants to tell him.

He can see the anxieties that he feels reflected in her dark depths and it makes him both curious and nervous.

He still think it's best to wait for her to come to him on her own terms, but he can't deny that it's been slowly killing him inside.

Looking at the picture of the two of them he has put in his locker – he's hung a picture of him and Chad right under it, as to pretend he doesn't think of her differently than his other best friend –, he sighs.

He just wishes she would tell him, so he could help her and maybe ease his mind.

"Hi, Troy!"

Startled, he takes a step back and blinks as his locker is shut for him, revealing an overeager blonde behind it.

"Hey, Sharpay," he says, a little uneasily and a little annoyed, as he smiles at her politely. "What's up?"

He can't deny that he still harbours an uneasy feeling akin to fear for East High's resident drama queen, even despite the truce they have come to after the events of last summer. He's sure she still harbours some resentment towards him, too, especially after finding out he is a candidate for the Juilliard scholarship.

Of course, neither of them are idiots – they both know he lacks the experience and ambition to really be a threat to Sharpay's dream of getting into Juilliard. But competition is competition in Sharpay Evans' eyes, so she has been watching him, glaring at him, ready to pounce and take him down.

So, to see her smiling at him so sweetly, he feels dread settle in his stomach. This can't be good.

"I just wanted to see how you're doing," she tells him innocently, and Troy's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Why would she be interested in his well-being?

"I'm… okay," he says, a little surprised. "Why shouldn't I be?"

Sharpay's simple statement makes his stomach drop with anxiety.

"Gabriella."

Gabriella's troubled expressions flash before his eyes. Does Sharpay know something about whatever Gabriella is unwilling to tell him? And if she does, how does she know?

How is Sharpay Evans aware of something he, Gabriella's best friend, isn't?

Sharpay seems to understand that Troy is in the dark about whatever she's talking about, for her eyes widen in shock. "You don't know."

When Troy just raises his eyebrows, feeling a mixture of anxiety and curiosity bubble in his stomach, Sharpay just shakes her head disbelievingly. "Forget I said anything. I thought you knew. I mean, you're her best friend after all. And aren't you taking her to prom? Either way, it's not my place, sorry."

"Sharpay," Troy says warningly, and Sharpay flinches a little at his harsh tone, making him roll his eyes.

He knows her and her antics too well by now to know that she's doing this on purpose. She's trying to torture him, drive him insane with her vague words and the power of knowing something he doesn't.

He shouldn't fall for her manipulative behaviour. He's fallen for it before and it quite nearly cost him all his friends. It nearly cost him Gabriella.

But, not unlike last time, he's desperate. Not for a scholarship like then – although he is desperate for some guidance on his future, too –, but about Gabriella.

So, he can't help it. He wants Sharpay to tell him what she knows.

Shrugging in defeat, Sharpay casually pulls a piece of paper from her bag and shoves it in his hands. "Gabriella has been admitted to an honours programme at Stanford. The whole school has been buzzing about it, so I thought you knew."

Troy feels a lump grow on his throat as his eyes scan the page, a printout from the Stanford website showing Gabriella's smiling face and information about the honours programme.

His breath hitches in his throat as he sees the date of the programme. It's the week before prom.

This is what Gabriella was trying to tell him. She's leaving East High early. Too early. She might not attend prom with him.

He might be too late.

"I'm sorry you had to hear it from me," Sharpay says, sounding apologetic, but Troy knows better. She's a good actress, but he knows her well enough to know she's not sorry at all.

She's probably delighted to know Gabriella can't do the musical.

Sharpay narrows her eyes at Troy, inspecting his facial expressions thoroughly. "I was really just wondering how you were doing. I mean, I know you and Gabriella have this pining thing going on and that you were going to go to prom together. It's a shame, really, I'm sure you were excited about it."

Troy grimaces tightly. "Yeah, I was. But there's no pining thing going on with me and Gabriella."

Sharpay just rolls her eyes and gives him a pointed look. "Yes, there is. Everyone can see it, except you two."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, not sure what to say and whether he really wants to argue with her about this.

The only people whom he has told about his feelings for Gabriella are Chad, Kelsi and his mom, but it's no surprise that Sharpay knows. Sharpay, ever the master manipulator, knows everything about everyone. And considering he's not exactly a subtle person, he's an open book to her, making him an easy victim to her schemes.

Of course, there's also the spirited speech he gave Sharpay about putting his friends before the talent show right after Gabriella quit her job at Lava Springs. He's sure that tipped her off.

He doesn't feel comfortable for Sharpay knowing him this well and he definitely doesn't like that she's aware of his feelings for Gabriella.

She can use this against him. She _is_ using it against him at this very moment.

By telling him about Gabriella's impending departure, and the possibility that he won't ever have a chance with her, Sharpay is trying to mess with his head and his heart.

And it's working.

"I'm sure she was excited about it, too," Sharpay says, her eyebrows furrowing thoughtfully. "Maybe that's why she didn't tell you. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt you. Or maybe she doesn't know what to do."

Sharpay pauses for a second, her face morphing into a dark scowl. "Maybe you're in her way."

Troy understands the double meaning behind Sharpay's words – she's actually talking about him being in _her_ way, not Gabriella's –, but his heart still drops at the thought.

Is that why Gabriella didn't feel like she could tell him? Does she feel like she has to choose between him and her future?

He can't bear that. He can't be the person who holds her back. If he does that, she'll end up resenting him. It would ruin their relationship, and it would ruin him.

He had hoped it would last a little longer, but the time has come to let her go. And maybe he won't have his chance to tell her that he loves her, but he'll make that sacrifice.

If he really loves her, he has to.

"Well, I have to go," Sharpay interrupts his thoughts, her sunny demeanour returning as she grins at him and pats his shoulder before walking away. "See you in rehearsal. Toodles!"

As the sound of the Sharpay's heels clicking down the hallway slowly disappears, Troy stares at the picture of Gabriella's smiling face again and sighs.

He has to talk to her. He has to convince her that prom is not worth giving up this opportunity for, that he is not worth it.

He has to tell her to go.

* * *

She's going to tell him tonight.

She hasn't prepared herself to do it now, but it seems like the perfect opportunity has presented itself and she'd be foolish not to take advantage of it.

Not that she wants to tell him. A large part of her – the biggest part of her – is still terrified of the consequences, of saying goodbye.

A large part of her wants to stay in this moment and pretend that nothing is wrong, that she's just sitting in her bedroom with Troy, eating chocolate strawberries and pizza margherita.

However, she knows that she can't put it off any longer. She's seen the way he's been looking at her lately, the curiosity and anxiety about what she's not telling him, and she can't keep him in the dark any longer.

She can't lead him on any longer. It's not fair to him. And it's not fair to herself either. She can't keep hurting herself by keeping this secret. She can't keep torturing herself by putting this off.

However, it seems like the opportunity might slip from her hands again.

"So, I need to talk to you about something," Troy says, swallowing the last strawberry as he casts his gaze downwards.

She feels her stomach drop a little at how forlorn he looks. Could he know? That's impossible, only Taylor and her mom do and neither would have told him.

"About what?" she asks, quietly, a little fearfully, as she fiddles with her thumbs in her lap nervously.

Troy takes a deep breath, before looking back up at her and forcefully making eye contact with her, his eyes filled with hurt.

"The honours programme."

Her breath hitches for a moment. She feels terrible, guilt washing over her. He should have heard this from her. She should have told him sooner, she shouldn't have kept this a secret.

It makes it so much more difficult that he had to find out about this another way.

She sighs as she averts her gaze. "How did you find out about it?"

"A lot of people know. But I wasn't one of them. Why?"

Her heart clenches at the pain in his voice. He has every right to be upset with her right now, but it still hurts to hear him so distraught.

But, she also hear something else beneath the pain. It's concern.

And that's much worse. She thought she was ready to have this conversation, to tell him that their perfect prom has been crushed – he's been just as excited about it as she was, so he's going to be equally upset –, but now, she doesn't feel like she can do it anymore.

She just wishes she could sink into a hole and disappear forever. Or run away and never come back, like she always does. That seems easier.

But that's the thing. The whole problem is that she _doesn't_ want to run away. And that's what makes it so hard to have to do it.

"I just didn't want to let you down," she says, fiddling with the hem of her dress as she stares down at her lap, rapidly blinking to fight the tears that she's sure will come.

"Why would you think you're letting me down?" Troy asks incredulously. "I couldn't be more proud of you."

Looking back up at him, feeling a tug at her heart at the grey storm that has appeared in his otherwise ocean blue eyes, Gabriella shrugs. "We made plans together. We were going to go prom together, do the musical. And now we can't because of me."

She bites her lip as Troy's frown just grows deeper, more anguished, before he leans forward, his eyes shining with desperation. "You have nothing to apologize for. This is a great opportunity. Of course you have to go. It's the right thing to do."

The right thing to do.

Of course it is. There's never been a doubt that it's what she _should_ do. But if there's anything she's learned in the time that she's known him, it's that doing the right thing doesn't guarantee the best result.

If she had done the thing that was expected of her and hadn't auditioned for the musical, she wouldn't be where she is now. She would still be miserable, pining for a life worth living.

She so desperately wants to follow her heart instead of her head for once. She so desperately wants to do something crazy.

But, as she stares into his eyes, she knows that she can't admit that.

Because, in admitting that, she would have to explain why she would be willing to drop the honours programme to go to prom.

She would have to admit that she has feelings for him. She would have to admit that she's never coming back once she leaves.

She can't do that.

So, instead, she just smiles sadly and brushes away the bangs from his face so she can inspect him just a little more, commit him to memory.

"I just hate saying goodbye," she says in a small voice.

He continues to stare at her wordlessly, likely equally desperate to memorize every detail about her, and Gabriella feels her heart pick up speed as she realizes he's so close she could kiss him.

She doesn't, though, refraining like she always does when they're in a position to take that step. A voice in the back of her head nags that this could likely be the last time they'll ever be this close, though, but she pushes it away.

Instead, she leans in and softly kisses his cheek, before standing up and walking to the door to her balcony. He follows her and grabs her hand.

"It's not goodbye yet, right? There's still prom and graduation," he says, and the hopeful tinge in his voice breaks her heart.

Before she can offer a reply – not that she knows what to say –, he grins and leans in to peck her cheeks, missing her lips by just an inch.

Her heart skips a beat and her eyes flutter closed for a second.

As her eyes open again, she musters a small smile in return and whispers, "Good night."

Both of them know it's not just good night – it's goodbye. Even though they both have different ideas about when the end is coming, they know it's imminent.

And when he smiles up at her one last time as he climbs down the tree, she feels like she's breaking inside.

She's become so good at leaving, so accustomed to saying goodbye, but it's never been as hard as it is now.

* * *

As prom draws nearer, Troy can feel he's becoming more nervous about it.

He was so excited about the prospect not so long ago. Not so long ago, it was the only thing that kept him from having a mental breakdown.

However, that was before he started seriously considering that there were other options out there besides University of Albuquerque. That was before Gabriella left.

That was before the realization sank in that his future is imminent, and it's inevitable and inescapable. And there's nothing he can do to stop it from approaching.

As much as it has become a source of frustration, Troy still harbours excitement for the night of all nights, though.

He's still excited to see Gabriella in her dress, to tell her how pretty she looks, and to dance the night away with her and their friends.

So, he still feels a flutter in his stomach when he finds the perfect corsage to buy Gabriella, and when the tux that he and Gabriella picked out together arrives.

He may feel lost about many things, but he's still going to make sure prom is perfect.

So, when Gabriella calls him one afternoon, just after he and Chad have shown his mother the tux, his heart drops as she speaks those four dreaded words.

"We need to talk."

Part of him already expected that it would happen – even though he seems to have successfully convinced her that he won't stand in her way, he's still sensed reluctance in her voice every time they've spoken on the phone.

There is still something not quite right, and as much as he has convinced himself that strain on their relationship hasn't been there, he knows he can't wish away the cracks anymore.

"What's wrong?" he asks, a little fearfully, barely noticing as both Lucille and Chad watch him with worry when he quickly flees the kitchen to find some solitude in his bedroom.

"I don't think I'm coming back."

He feels his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces as he processes her words, but he can't seem to make any sense of it.

She's telling him that it's over.

It can't be. There's still so much he wants to say.

"What do you mean?" he asks, running a hand through his hair in anguish. "We made plans. We still have prom and graduation."

Gabriella sighs, explaining, "If I have to come back for prom, I'll have to leave and say goodbye again. And then again after graduation. I don't think I can do that anymore. It hurts too much."

It makes sense. He doesn't want to say goodbye either. But it hurts much more that they're now being cheated out of a proper farewell.

He can't say goodbye or tell her he loves her over the phone. It's not good enough. She's worth more than that.

Desperately, he tells her, "It doesn't have to be goodbye."

They both know that's not true.

He hears Gabriella sob softly in response, and his heart clenches. He wishes he could hug her and convince her that everything is going to be okay, even if he doesn't believe so himself.

He wishes that they didn't have to be so far apart.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "I have to stay here."

Then the line goes dead.

For a moment, he just leans against the wall in silence, unsure of what to do and where to go from here, before looking up at the sound of footsteps.

"Is she not coming back for prom?"

He sighs as Chad raises his eyebrows in concern, before flipping his phone shut and throwing it on the bed.

"She's not coming back at all," he replies as he sits down on the bed and lets himself fall backwards, crossing his arms as he stares up at the ceiling aimlessly.

"That sucks," is Chad's only reply, and Troy scoffs in response as he shakes his head incredulously.

He's not angry, though. As painful as it is, he thinks he can understand where Gabriella is coming from. She would have to leave so many times if she were to fly back and forth, and it would be like a stab in the heart every time.

Personally, he feels like that would be worth it, but he knows how scared Gabriella is of getting attached to other people and then getting hurt, so it makes sense that she would see things a little differently. He can respect that.

It's just so frustrating. That last inkling of joy, that last shred of security has just been ripped from him and now he's just lost. Completely, utterly lost.

He hears rustling, before Chad's face appears in his vision, having sat down next to the bed.

He gently punches Troy in the arm, before offering him a small, comforting smile and saying, "Maybe it's for the best that she's not coming back. Gabriella is already at college. She's one step ahead of us. Do you think Taylor and I are going to stay together to each other when we're at college?"

"Gabriella and I aren't even together," Troy reminds his friend, a tight grimace on his face.

And that's exactly the problem. They could have been together. He could have told her sooner, he could have decided not to wait for prom, and now his chance to be with her has passed him by and it's too late.

He's such an idiot.

"I know," Chad says quietly, "But hey, we're young. You're going to find someone else."

Troy doesn't want someone else. He wants Gabriella.

"And you're going to have me, because we're going to U of A together," Chad continues, and Troy feels slightly guilty as he thinks about the other acceptance letter that he's hidden under his nightstand.

He wishes he could talk to somebody about all of this, but Chad wouldn't understand. He's had his mind set and he won't stray from his path.

He would usually go to Gabriella. She would understand. He desperately wishes he could call her back and talk to her, but she needs her space.

So, he's alone now.

"And you're going to prom with me and all your friends and you're going to have fun. I'm sure there's someone who's going alone and who would want to be your date. You'll be fine," Chad rambles on, and Troy musters a small smile in gratefulness for Chad's encouragement, before a thought suddenly enters his mind.

He's not the only one who's alone.

Gabriella is alone, too. Maybe they could be alone together.

His mind is running a mile a minute, but he keeps a straight face as he turns over to lie on his stomach, staring at a picture of him and his friends he has put on his nightstand, his arm tightly wrapped around Gabriella's waist as they smile brightly for the camera.

"I don't plan on missing my prom."

His idea of a prom might be different from Chad's, though.

Chad, however, is unaware of this, and lets out a relieved sigh as he playfully ruffles Troy's hair, before standing up and making his way out of the room. "Good."

Troy, however, barely notices as he keeps his eyes trained on the picture on his nightstand, a plan forming in his mind.

Not all hope is lost. He's still determined to have that perfect prom and to tell Gabriella that he loves her.

And he knows exactly how he's going to make that happen.

* * *

Prom is tonight.

As much as it pains her to think about it, it's been on her mind all day. She thinks about the fun that the girls must be having while getting ready, about how beautiful the East High gym will look, about who Troy is taking in her place.

She hasn't spoken to him since she told him she's not coming back and it's been killing her. She wouldn't blame him for being angry with her, but she hates that she doesn't know how to make things better.

A few weeks ago, she was excited at the prospect of prom. Now, it just fills her stomach with incredible dread.

She's been so preoccupied with the thought of Troy that she's now imagining seeing his old beat-up truck in the parking lot.

Scoffing, she blinks, waiting for the hallucination to disappear.

It doesn't.

She blinks again, and again, and again.

It's still there.

"Figured you'd be the last one out of the building."

With a gasp, Gabriella looks up at the tree that she's been standing next to, and she decides she's definitely dreaming as she finds Troy Bolton there, wearing a tux and all.

"What are you doing here?" she chokes out as she puts a hand over her heart in shock, the organ drumming loudly and rapidly against her ribcage.

Troy just grins and squats down on the branch he's been standing on. "I took a wrong turn on the way to prom. So did you."

She blushes a little in embarrassment, before taking him in. With his bright grin and warm eyes, with his tuxedo, he's handsome as ever.

And he's _here_. He drove 1,053 miles for her.

It's a grand gesture. She'd almost say that it's a _romantic_ gesture.

That very thought makes her cheeks redden even further. Seeing Troy narrow his eyes at her curiously in response to her blush, she quickly says, "You have a thing with trees, don't you?"

Troy chuckles softly as he looks around at the branches and leaves surrounding him, before locking his eyes on hers again, a sudden intensity in his gaze. "I see things clearly from up here."

Gabriella smiles and nods in response, wondering what he means by that. She knows he's been in turmoil about his plans of the future, but something in his eyes tells her that he's not talking about that right now.

A silence temporarily settles between them, but she finds that she can't hide her curiosity much longer.

"Why?" she breaks the silence. As Troy visibly tenses, she continues, "I mean, prom is tonight in Albuquerque. It's over a thousand miles away from here. Why are you here with me?"

Troy purses his lips as he contemplates an answer, before taking a deep breath and suddenly jumping down from the tree to stand in front of her.

Smiling slyly, he presents an object he's been hiding behind his back to her.

A corsage.

"I have something that belongs to you," he says, a little shyly, and Gabriella feels her knees weaken beneath her as she returns his smile.

She reaches out her hand to him and his grin grows impossibly wider as he pushes the corsage onto her wrist and takes her hand in his afterwards, squeezing softly.

"It's beautiful," she says as she inspects the corsage thoroughly, and she feels the tears prick in her eyes as she looks back at him.

He came all the way here to be here with her. If she wasn't already hopelessly in love with him, she would have fallen right there.

How could she get so lucky to have someone like him in her life?

"I also kind of wanted to dance with you," Troy mumbles awkwardly, flushing as his hand reaches up to rub his neck.

Gabriella can't help but giggle a little bit at that, as she looks around. "There's no music."

"It didn't stop us when we were on the roof," Troy retorts, and Gabriella rolls her eyes playfully and shakes her head.

"There's people here. They would think we're crazy," she reasons with him, and while that would have worked not too long ago, Troy now merely shrugs indifferently.

"Who cares what others think?"

This makes Gabriella quirk an eyebrow. She knows Troy. She knows that one of his biggest weaknesses is that he cares too much about other people's opinions.

So, why doesn't he care right now? Is he that desperate to dance with her?

Troy squeezes her hand again as he grins charmingly. "Come on, don't be afraid."

Afraid.

Being afraid is all she's ever known. Afraid of getting too close and getting hurt, afraid of opening herself up, afraid of putting herself out there. Afraid, afraid, afraid.

Yet, as long as she's known Troy, she's fought against all her fears. She's grown more confident into who she is as a person, she's gotten up on stage, she's opened herself up to him.

She's tired of being afraid.

Therefore, with a coy smile, Gabriella sighs and concedes. "Fine."

Troy grins as he pulls her close against her body and starts swaying. For a few minutes, they stay like that, just as they did that day on the roof, waltzing around the tree and giggling gleefully.

However, somewhere along their quiet dance, the mood changes. Suddenly, he dips her, slowly and carefully, and when she comes up, there's a storm brewing in his eyes. There's no distress in his blue depths, though; instead, there's a different emotion she can't quite decipher.

Suddenly, she's all too aware of how close their faces are, and this time, she can't stop herself.

Tentatively, she reaches up and runs her hand through the hair on the back of his neck, watching as his eyes flutter shut in response. Her own eyes close as well as their faces draw nearer to one another. With a sudden surge of confidence, she closes the distance.

And then their lips meet. And it feels as if the world shifts a little.

Her entire body is filled with a surge of warmth as his mouth glide over hers smoothly, and she feels him smile into the kiss as he slides his tongue into her mouth and she grabs onto his hair tighter and pulls him closer in response.

The kiss only lasts a minute, but it feels as if an eternity has passed when they pull away for air, both pair of eyes widening as they realize what just happened.

They just kissed.

And Gabriella initiated it. Of course he was a willing participant – the tingling of her lips from the pressure he's put on them confirms that –, but she was the one to close the distance first.

There's no going back now. He's going to want to know why she did that and she's going to have to confess that she has feelings for him that reach far beyond the confines of friendship. She's going to have to risk losing him for once and all.

Yet, as she stares into his eyes, which are dazed and bright with wonder, she decides that the risk is worth it.

Troy has taught her that it's not always wrong to do something crazy, and if there's anything crazy, it's her feelings for him.

However, before she can open her mouth and ramble through an explanation and an awkward confession, Troy speaks up first.

"I love you."

Her heartbeat picks up as her mouth falls agape. Suddenly, it's all clear. The way he looks at her, that emotion that she can't decipher in his gaze – it's love.

He feels the same way about her.

She's so glad she did something crazy.

She's probably been silent for longer than necessary, for Troy's hand suddenly flies up to his neck, as he starts rambling, "I know this is probably a shock to you, but I've had feelings for you for a while. Ever since we met, really. And I just wanted you to know before we go off to college and I'm sorry if I just ruined our friendsh–"

She blinks as she shocks out of her daze, before reaching up and kissing him again. It's shorter than their first kiss, but it still sends shockwaves through her body.

"I love you, too," she says firmly, and she feels the butterflies raging in her stomach as Troy's face blossoms into a brilliant smile.

She can see the relief on his features and she understands that completely.

It's liberating for the truth to finally to be out in the open.

"I'm so glad you came here," she says after a few minutes spent in silence, grinning at each other goofily. "I'm sorry I was so scared of coming back."

Troy merely shrugs in response, his grin turning slightly bashful as he squeezes her hand that's still clasped in his. "It's okay. I didn't think my love confession would be such a big gesture, but I guess it helped."

As Gabriella's eyebrows furrow in confusion as to what he means, he chuckles awkwardly as he rubs his neck again. "I was kind of planning to tell you that I loved you at prom ever since I asked you to go with me."

And she almost ruined their chance. Gasping, she feels the guilt wash over her, but the awful feeling quickly disappears as Troy squeezes her hand again. "Don't feel guilty. It all worked out, right?"

With a small smile, Gabriella nods, before reaching up again, but this time, Troy is quicker, capturing her lips in a languid kiss.

As they break apart, Gabriella lays her head on his chest as she snuggles into him, grinning as his chin falls to the crown of her head.

It did all work out.

As that thought swirls through her mind, the realization hits Gabriella.

Even if they feel like time is running out or fear has taken a hold of them, it will always work out.

Everything will always work out when they're together.


End file.
